The Invisibly Queer Therapist
How in the hell do you find the right therapist?
You scroll through headshots, trying to figure out who might actually get you. After a while, everything blurs together. You basically end up guessing.
Finding the right therapist feels harder than it should be.
I’ve been there. I’m a straight-passing, cisgender, Bi+ woman and recovering perfectionist raised Catholic. I spent years on the other side of the screen, searching for a therapist who actually got me.
Someone who didn’t flinch when I said “what the fuck” in session.
Someone who knew what it meant to live in a body that’s always scanning for safety.
Someone who understood that being “too much” can actually mean you’re onto something important.
I know how isolating it can feel to carry all of that alone. That’s why my work now is about creating space where sensitivity, queerness, and complexity aren’t problems to solve—they’re strengths to build from.
And I know this not just because I’m a therapist, but because I’ve lived it.
Highly Sensitive Child
Sensitive. Smart. Responsible. Anxious as hell. That was me.
I was the high-achieving kid who stayed calm, kept peace, and earned gold stars like my life depended on it—because honestly, it felt like it did. I learned early that being useful made me feel safe.
And then I hit a wall.
My first panic attack forced me to see that perfectionism wasn’t protecting me—it was burying me. And honestly? I was done playing that game.
The kind where you don’t have to impress anyone.
Where your mess is welcome. Where old survival strategies finally get unpacked, not judged.
Now, I offer that same space to others—outsiders, overthinkers, people-pleasers, invisible rebels.
Therapy for the Ones Who’ve Tried Everything Else
If you’ve worked with other therapists and still feel like something’s missing—you’re not alone. Most of my clients are smart, self-aware, and have already done the work. They’ve read the books. Tried mindfulness. Maybe even did EMDR, CBT, or trauma-informed yoga.
And yet… the anxiety’s still there. The people-pleasing. The guilt. The self-blame. The exhaustion of always feeling too much and never enough—sometimes at the same time.
That’s where I come in.
This isn’t therapy where we sit and recap your week forever. We get curious about the patterns that are still running the show—and we do something about them. We slow things down, work with parts of you that are still scared, and build a relationship that lets you actually feel safe enough to change.
• Complex and Childhood Trauma: Unpacking old survival strategies (like fawning, freezing, or perfectionism) that still show up even though you're “doing fine.”
• Anxiety and Perfectionism: Helping you stop over-functioning, over-apologizing, and overthinking your damn existence. (Yes, this includes the 3 a.m. spiral.)
• Queer and Gender Exploration: Whether you’re questioning, fluid, Bi+, or figuring out what feels real—your identity deserves space, not judgment.
• Straight-Passing, Still Queer: Navigating the guilt, shame, and invisibility that comes with being in a hetero-appearing relationship while holding queer identity. No, you’re not “less queer.”
• Religious Trauma Recovery: For the ones raised Catholic (or Evangelical, or Mormon…) who still carry guilt, shame, or the fear of being “too much.” You don’t need to earn healing here.
• Kink-Affirming + Non-Monogamy Support: Been judged or misunderstood for how you love? I’ve got both training and lived experience. This is a no-shame zone.
Education and Licensure
Licensure
• Oregon # L2784
• Also licensed in Missouri # 2021050929
Education
• Master in Clinical Social Work - Portland State University 1996
• Graduate Fellowship - Romance Languages, University of Oregon
• BA in Comparative Literature & Women’s Studies, Portland State University, 1987
(Yes, I’ve been a feminist for a while.)
Specialized Certifications and Trainings
• EMDR/ Humanitarian Assistance Program Level I & Level II
• Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
• Trauma Informed Care
• Ongoing conferences and trainings: LGBTQIA+ mental health, feminist therapy and trauma informed work
And the unofficial—but equally important—qualifications:
• Raised Catholic with a master’s in guilt
• Queer. Bi+. Done performing for acceptance
• Highly sensitive and direct (yes, it’s a combo that works)
• 25+ years in the therapy trenches with people who feel like outsiders, rebels, and caregivers-on-the-edge
Becoming the Therapist I Was Searching For
I stopped chasing perfection and started getting real—and now I help other people do the same. Therapy with me isn’t about fixing you. It’s about helping you show up without apology, without over explaining, and without pretending you’re fine when you’re falling apart inside.
You don’t have to earn your place here. You don’t have to shrink to be understood.
If therapy hasn’t worked before, maybe it’s because no one really saw you.
That’s where we begin.
If this resonates, that’s not random. It’s probably time.